PARANOIA – アルルカン (Arlequin)

PARANOIA – アルルカン (Arlequin)

lyrics: 暁 (aki) || music: 奈緒 (nao)
single: PARANOIA (2016)

English Translation
PARANOIA

Let’s meet again, goodbye.

The “past”, flowing constantly,
is like a restless wave;
even the designed “present”
is softly carried off .

That time I thought
that one day I’d be almost drowned.
But even if it’s painful, “I want to be here.”

I’m still breathless anyway (wherever)
and yet I still demanded some light (there isn’t any)

“Past” has been overwritten,
I painted the “present” over the surface of the water,
creating a virtual image named hesitation.

With this non-existent “answer”
I lost my balance, I can’t move,
my head has been undermined.
A pathetic PARANOIA.
I was laughable just because I wasn’t aware of it:
I felt alive because I thought so,
that’s why I’ll stay here;
I understand it, and yet I’m not able to love.

Even if I try I can’t make it
Because I am ignorant

I just have to keep screaming
that I hate this world

I can’t show to anyone
my ugliness and my weakness;
I’ll sink all of it, till the day that I’m able to love.

I’m still breathless anyway (wherever)
and yet I still demanded some light (there isn’t any)

There is something I want to protect,
yes, but there’s also something I can’t give away.
Not an ideal person,
but my ideal self.

Drawn to that non-existent “answer”,
I’m lost and crowded,
I’m still doubting it, but I’m still believing it;
that’s just because now I know
that the one who “seems to be” me
is strong and can live.
I suppress the sorrow that keeps showing up
and I throw my body into that distorted “spiral”.

 

Romaji [by hiphopvomit]
PARANOIA

nando demo mata aimashou sayonara

yosete wa kaesu nami no you ni taezu nagareru “kako”
utsushidasu “ima” sae mo sotto saratteyuku

itsuka ni obore kaketa sono toki, omotta noni.
dore dake kurushikutemo [koko ni itai.]

ikigurushii no wa onaji darou (doko ni itemo)
sore demo hikari o motometa (koko dewanai to)

uwagaki sareteku “kako”
minamo ni utsushita “ima” ga
umidasu no wa mayoi to iu na no kyozou

ari mo shinai “kotae” ni
ashi o torare ugokenai mama de
mushibamareteku, atama no naka o.
aware na PARANOIA
shiranakatta dakara koso waraeteta
sou omoeru toki mo ikitekita kara koko ni iru koto
wakatteiru noni aisenai

Even if I try I can’t make it
Because I am ignorant

I just have to keep screaming
that I hate this world

dare ni mo miserarenai kono minikusa mo yowasa mo
itsuka aiseru made shizumete

ikigurushii no wa onaji darou (doko ni itemo)
sore demo hikari o motometa (koko dewanai to)

mamoritai MONO wa aru
sou, yuzurenu MONO yori mo.
hito no KATACHI dewanaku
boku no KATACHI

ari mo shinai “kotae” ni
hikiyoserare mayoi kondeyuku
utagai tsudzuke shinji tsudzukeru kore made o tayori ni
shitte shimatta dakara koso
boku “rashiku” tsuyoku ikite yukeru
ukabe tsudzuketa urei o koroshi
yugamu “nejire” no naka e mi o nageru

 

Kanji [by hiphopvomit]
PARANOIA

何度でも また 会いましょう さよなら

寄せては返す波の様に 絶えず 流れる “過去”
写し出す”今”さえも そっと さらっていく

いつかに溺れかけた その時、思ったのに。
どれだけ 苦しくても 「此処にいたい。」

息苦しいのは 同じだろう (どこにいても)
それでも 光を 求めた (ここではないと)

上書きされてく”過去”
水面に写した”今”が
生み出すのは 迷いという名の虚像

ありもしない”答え”に
足を取られ 動けないままで
蝕まれてく、頭の中を。
哀れなパラノイア
知らなかった だからこそ 笑えてた
そう思える時も 生きてきたから 此処に居る事
解っているのに 愛せない

Even if I try I can’t make it
Because I am ignorant

I just have to keep screaming
that I hate this world

誰にも見せられない この醜さも弱さも
いつか 愛せるまで 沈めて

息苦しいのは 同じだろう (どこにいても)
それでも 光を 求めた (ここではないと)

守りたいモノはある
そう、譲れぬモノよりも。
他人(ひと)の理想(カタチ)ではなく
僕の理想(カタチ)

ありもしない”答え”に
引き寄せられ 迷い込んでいく
疑い続け 信じ続ける これまでを頼りに
知ってしまった だからこそ
僕”らしく”強く生きていける
浮かべ続けた 憂いを殺し
歪む”ねじれ”の中へ身を投げる

 

Translation by me. Please don’t claim as yours. Credit if you use.
English is not my first language, feel free to let me know if there is any mistake.

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